Tweens: Flatter not Fatter

Dear Reader,

Does your (daughter, grand daughter, sister, niece, cousin, child you babysit, student) know what looks flattering on her? Does she know what compliments her body? Does she know that it is possible to flatter and accent every body type, not just the “cool girls” at school?

So what if she puts the flat in flattering right now. She may not have a lick of shape to flatter yet, but does she know that her body is going to develop and change? Well that may be common sense. But does she truly understand that no matter how it changes and what it looks like, it will be all hers forever?

That is a long time to hate your body, especially when you’re starting so young.

According to the Keep It Real campaign (joint effort between Miss Representation, the SPARK Movement, Love Social, Endangered Bodies and I Am That Girl) 80 percent of all 10-year-old girls have, at some point in their lives, gone on at least one diet.

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, between 40 and 60 percent of children ages 6 to 12 are concerned about their weight or becoming too fat, and 70 percent would prefer to be thinner.

The number one wish for girls ages 11-17 is to be thinner.

think

So we can pick-a-little-talk-a-little about what a shame it is that our girls are so consumed with body image. We can shake our fists at the media, blame Barbie, and tell our supermodels not to be so super.

Or we could help solve the problem.

Tell me, when your (daughter, grand daughter, sister, niece, cousin, child you babysit, student) is dawned in their lovely, appropriate, well fitting, goodies covering outfits, what do you say?

Do you say anything? You tell her what looks wrong on her. Do you tell her what looks right?

When she puts on her too tight, too short, too revealing, outfit, what do you say? Probably something that insults her maturity, her idea of beauty, her confidence… you probably say “well you’re not ‘all the other girls’ are you?”

It kills me seeing these tweenyboppers running around in outfits my dad wouldn’t want me, his 19 year old, to wear. Of course the ruffles and bows make it cute and adorable. However, it doesn’t shield the fact that her butt cheeks are just a shoe-tie away from the big reveal. If there were any cleavage to show, it would be hanging out. Those skinny jeans show off every single almost-curve.

It’s cute for now, but those curves will come in and those styles aren’t going to change. Try telling her all of a sudden that what once was adorable, is now unacceptable. She spent her tweenagerhood thinking an outfit like this is perfectly fine, but now she is a tramp. Her clothes are too tight, so she must be fat. But clingy was good. But now clingy is bad. And her body is changing and her style is changing but her rules are changing too…

If at 10 years old, body image matters, all we can do is respect that, and help them learn to love what they have. That means inspiring healthier choices, stand out and be independant, and when she gets caught up in “the look”, reminding her that her body is beautiful and will always be beautiful. But most importantly, teach her that true beauty is within. Although looking and feeling pretty sure do help!

Give a girl a dress, and she’ll feel beautiful today.

Teach a girl how to dress, and she’ll feel beautiful every day. 

beauty

Way To Ruin My Shopping Spree, B*tch.

bitch

I want to apologize for my language, but I probably won’t. Just as I wouldn’t have apologized if I had slapped her across her fake blonde wanna-be-sorority face. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.

Except without the sweet part. What?! She doesn’t deserve it! Here we go.

So, let’s call it the Best Shop Ever. My favorite shop in all history, The Best Shop Ever, just opened its 2nd shop in Tennessee just a few miles away. I pretty much died when I found out. Thus began my countdown to the opening day. Finally, today I picked up my wonderful friend and we embarked on what was to be the best day of our lives.

No, I’m not exaggerating a lick.

So, we get there right? And we walk up to the entrance. And it’s beautiful. It is simply glowing. And we walk through the threshold.

And there she is. That nasty girl from my math class last year. I have known a lot of mean awful girls. But for some reason, this complete stranger who so happened to be in my community college math class decided she wanted to destroy me. Ask anyone in my class, the tension was ridiculous. I even remember texting my mom asking her if she would be proud or disappointed if I slapped her face off.

slap

I mean, who follows up a perfectly reasonable question with “Excuse me, I don’t think anyone else is confused right now. It’s not that hard. We shouldn’t be wasting our time like this, don’t you think Mrs.Teacher?”

Oh. Plus, don’t call me and my friends cheaters for getting better grades when you are playing on Pinterest ALL CLASS. Please, complain about your grades. Please.  But also, feel free to talk to me like a dog when you think you can “teach” me how to understand the confusing problems. I didn’t ask for your help.

 

please

But don’t forget to insult my friends! Ugh, I was so relieved to get her out of my life.

I think you get the idea. And I think you can only imagine my thrill walking into the Best Store Ever and seeing Blondie right inside the door. How does such a hateful person get such a nice job? I was basically devastated.

Thank goodness I looked Hot. Thank goodness the other shop is within an hour drive.
Do I feel like I’ve let her win? Like I have let her control me?

Not one bit. Because if anything, I am saving her life.

Well, This is Awkward: Generic Quesitons

It has recently been brought to my attention that I am extremely awkward. Newsflash, right? Thank goodness it seems society is embracing it’s inner “awkward”. At one point, being awkward was kind of like a death sentence. You wanted to seem as cucumber cool as possible. Lately however, it seems like everyone is writing, sharing, and coming to terms with the fact that we’re all awkward.
awkwardd

I guess it’s become a tool to connect. You’re awkward. I’m awkward. Let’s be awkward together and share our horrible stories. It makes the “we’ll laugh about this someday” aspect really speed up.

So to celebrate this one large step for mankind, I thought, why not contribute to the collection of awkward moments? Starting with my latest.

awkward

Does anyone else do this?
Don’t get me wrong, I love my peace and quiet. But when I’m with company, I don’t dig awkward silence. I am a talker, and when I run out of subjects to discuss, I kinda panic. I’ve been known to ask “So, How are you doing?” 4-5 times in a row, back to back, spaced out only by a brief “good” or “fine”, followed by a painful pause. It’s not that I wasn’t paying attention! I was simply in subject hunter mode.

I feel like I ask these annoying generic questions over and over because my mind is trying to find a new topic to discuss. I’ll ask “What’s Up?” 3 times. The answer never changes, but maybe if I ask just once more. “What is new with you?” Nothing in the past 10 seconds, how about you? Oh you know, just trying to make small talk.

Wow, it’s painful just reliving it. Does it suck this much just to have a conversation with me? I mean, I learned back in 4th grade not to bring up the weather. You will get. Called. Out. What on Earth do you do then?

I’m really sorry guys. I can be quite the conversationalist when the topics keep coming! I could have a lively conversation with a brick wall and be perfectly content. But once I run out of subject matter,

Well, that’s just Awkward.

silence

 

How Your Kid Might Feel About Interracial Dating

swirl

Interracial Dating

I could go on and on about this subject. Maybe that is because I am the product of an interracial couple. Maybe it is because I was raised in a house that made love and tolerance a priority. Maybe it is because my boyfriend is white and I am not.

I have been mixed my entire life. That posed many challenges in its self especially when it came to self identity, confidence, bullying, family… you know. The works. One of the key struggles was boys. This all became an issue in 4th and 5th grade when we were loosing our cooties and gaining our girlish figure.

See, when you can’t identify what you are, what does that mean as far as how others identify you? Once boys quit having cooties, I was posed with a lot deeper questions than, will he walk me to class? I was thinking along the lines of, well does Joey think of me as white? He is white. If he thinks of me as white, then maybe there’s a better chance of him liking me. Maybe. But what if he thinks of me as black. He doesn’t ever talk to the other black girls

Well, maybe he could still like me. But then what if his friends make fun of him?

What if he does  like black girls? But then, if he doesn’t think of me as a black girl.

I’m sure you can imagine how confusing it must be. Hormones, Identity issues, All my friends were dating but I was too afraid to approach any guy because… well, what does he like? This race or that? Then of course, I went through the phase of… This guy seems to like me, but I know he likes the thuggy-acting Black girls. Well maybe if I act thuggy like them…. He will consider me an option!

It was never about if they were racist. I just assumed that when it came to developing crushes, everyone usually started in their own race. That’s where the dating radar begins. Is that wild for an elementary schooler to think? It’s scary enough to put yourself out there, fresh bosoms and cootie free… we had no idea what we were doing. I guess I was just so afraid of rejection because I thought being mixed took me out of everyone’s radar.  There is so much fear in new dating already. Why complicate things? It’s safer to stay within you race, right?

Wrong. It took some time, and I’m talking most of grade school, but I finally began to learn my place. My first love was a white guy. I threw caution to the wind and went for it. Fortunately, the whole exotic-tall-bronze-and-sexy thing worked for me. Spending time with someone that accepted me for me – that is when I learned the most about myself.

Plus, I enjoy knowing that we tick off the majority of southern conservative Republicans. Did you know there are still human beings who would make interracial marriage Illegal. Illegal. Punishable by law. But that is a story for another day so stick around.

SWIRL ON!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blogging Goals for July/August

 

make shit happen

Hello Friend!

I have about one solid month left until my Sophomore semester begins. I am already regretting not spending enough time growing and developing my blog like I wanted to! You can’t let that free time sneak by because it will! I refuse to neglect my bloggy these last few days before all my free time is gone! 

Blogging Goals For This Month

- Take the Blogmopolition Quiz

- Hold my first Guest Blog post

- Take the “Writing Process” challenge post

- Create some sort of Recipe

- Share results from my Photo Shoot with Rocky’s Photography

- Bump up the Fashion/Style posts

- Reach out to Knoxville Bloggers

- Invite friends to Lovely Lady Bloggers group on Facebook. (comment for details!)

- Send care packages to my Blogger Pen Pals (you can also be one, just comment! :)

- Reach 100 Facebook Likes, been stagnant at 71 for too long! 

What are your goals for this month? Do you set goals and how do you reward yourself when you reach them? Do you have any suggestions for me? Would you like info/details on any of my goals? Just comment, I want all you feedback!

 

 

 

Writing Process

I started this blog after a very uneventful New Year’s Eve. January 1st, I woke up and told myself that I was embarking into a new year and it was going to be the best year ever. So I grabbed my laptop and started chugging away.

I actually had considered blogging before after realizing my career wasn’t going anywhere without some sort of portfolio of my work. Granted, I was a freshman in community college. I won’t have “work” for a portfolio until I transfer to the University of Tennessee.  But I figured, why not go ahead and get started.

Honestly, it is the best decision I have made thus far. I have connected with the most incredible people. So many doors have opened! I use my blog to inspire me to live a more exciting life. It’s made every day my blog puts more beauty, challenges, and opportunities into my life.

A few days ago, Erin from The Modern Notebook tagged me in this “My Writing Process” tour. I thought, what better way to improve my content than review it and share it!

1. What are you working on right now?

Right now, I’m trying to transition into more fashion focused posts. Unfortunately, starting a new job has me very busy and very distracted… I’ve been neglecting my content. I am working on more posts related to advertising (my field), more DIY posts for my creative endeavors(food, health, and pretty things in general, and more style and life posts.

2. How does your work differ from others of its genre?

What I love about blogging is how, within our niche, we all have so much in common. What makes us stand out is out personal stories. I get to give a down home Tennessee twist on what is trending. I get to give an Ad Major point of view. I have a Biracial young woman’s point of view. We all lead different lives and have different passions, but because we share this one, writing, we each get our own voice.

3. Why do you write what you do?

I write thoughts that I know I would read if anyone else had come up with them. Did that make sense? I shoot for enjoyable fun content, even when I am just venting. I love honest, blunt, real life bloggers and I try to write like that.

4. How does your writing process work?

I am so bad… I have no organized system or process. Between you and me, I have about 42 saved “Notes” in my phone of post blurb ideas that interrupt my daily life. Many of them survive the day and land online. The rest are chillin’ waiting or their day in the sun.

I also have a Pinterest board where I collect posts from other bloggers, inspirational quotes and photos, DIYS and Recipes to blog about, and just funny stuff I know my readers would appreciate. I draw a ton of ideas from there. It helps to have a master list when you’ve got writer’s block.

I also have about 20 ideas floating in the black hole that is my memory. All too many times, I come up with something brilliant. Then of course, I have to eat lunch and by the time I’m finished, it’s gone. So brace yourself! When those ideas come back to me, I’m sure I’ll rock this world!

Thanks again for tagging me, Erin!  Now I’m suppose to tag three people. Luckily for me, I have made a huge handful of new blog friends to get to know! So now to pick the brains of  Hilary from cutiecameras, Diana from dianasadventures, and Kate from layeredindulgence  . Let us know if and when you get to talking about your writing process. I’d love to hear about it!

And be sure to visit my wonderful friend Erin from http://www. modernnotebook.com

 

Cinderella Pedicure

cinderella pedi

My friends at Julep invited me to share a post about my favorite pedicure. At first, I was at a loss. I thought to myself, I never treat myself to a pedicure. What would I say? It’s been so long… Last time I gave myself a pedicure, I was going to a fancy party and was trying to feel like a princess. I wanted my tootsies to be as silky soft as my gown. I was going for Cinderella and my feet were perfectly Ball Worthy. Cinderella never needed complicated magic and fancy tricks to make her wish come true. All she needed was a just a few ingredients… Bibbiti. Bobbity. Boo.

cracked feet

boo2.

Washing feet

pedicure feet

Thanks Julep.com for the inspiration! I may not be stepping into my glass slippers anytime soon, but I am ready to step in style! If you need fabulous new tooties to step into style, be sure to check out Julep’s polish collection! Your dream-come-true color awaits!

 

Woman Crush Wednesday.

One of the best parts about being a girl is,

We are allowed to have our foxy celebrity crushes. Our men won’t judge us. In fact, they may just drool a little. If I had to be a boy though, man alive! Are these not the most stunning women ever?

I don’t partake in #WCW all that often. I would probably end up repeatedly confessing my love for Kat, Lauren, and Yvonne. These TV bombshells have stolen too many hearts on their hit shows over the past few years. Recognize them?

Kat Graham is hottie Bonnie Bennett in Vampire Diaries. She is also a musician and all around a total fox. Not to mention her Hannah Montana and Parent Trap days.

kat

Lauren Cohen was also had a cameo Vampire Diaries, but that was long before her role in Walking Dead. She’s the only reason I made it through season 3. She looks good bare covered in blood, but I much prefer the dolled up version. She had a few spots in Supernatural, and also my Chuck. Oh Man.

lauren

Lastly, every geek’s dream girl. Yvonne Strahovski played a kick ass spy in Chuck. When it ended in 2012, all her fans died inside. Fortunately she’s come back on Dexter and 24. Oh, and that I, Frankenstein movie I’m too afraid to watch. I might have to be brave though. She’s so worth it!

yvonne

Yvonne stahovski

Style Bloggers That Are Totally Fangirl Worthy.

To celebrate (more like channel my enthusiasm for) my big photoshoot this evening, I am sharing my 2 favorite fashion bloggers. Elizabeth and Olivia both run beautiful, successful, adored-by-all blogs.

Color me a fangirl, but we all need our style icons, am I right?

tacky

Delightfully Tacky’s Elizabeth has been blogging since 2008. More than just her personal style, Elizabeth shares her adventures living in Alaska, inspiration, health, and creative endeavors. She says she loves the charm of tacky, kitschy things, but I have yet to see anything besides this classy blogger at her loveliest.

http://www.delightfully-tacky.com/

olivia

Olivia is far from yet-another-London-Blogger. She uses her blog as an log for her favorite trends, foods, music, and adventures. What makes her stand out is her eye for detail and her fun personality! Both reflect in her photography and posts! I would call Olivia’s taste as soft, chic, and refined. What’s not to love?

http://www.whatoliviadid.com/

Just between us, I have been Pintereststalking these lovely ladies. I’ve got my second photo shoot in the history of Taken and I can’t help but be stoked. I wouldn’t call myself a style blogger yet – stylish blogger maybe. But my closet and my photography resources aren’t quite ready to take the online world by fashion storm. However, I can baby step in, one photo shoot at a time. Starting tonight! 

Now excuse me I’ll be channeling my inner Olivia and Elizabeth!

Did I just spend $8 on a Midnight Pistachio Run? Yes, I did.

Hello, My Name is Phoebe and I have a Pistachio eating problem.

Me and my pistachios have been inseparable for the past 7 days. I have purchased almost 28 oz of nuts and my bill is beyond me. Any minute now my skin is gonna turn green, I just know it.

I don’t know how it happened. I tried my very first pistachio about a month ago from a coworker. It was the weirdest thing I had ever tasted. Now here I am, a month later. Here I am completely obsessed with this odd little snack.

Look at all the delicious ways we can enjoy this snack! FYI, none of these are links. I am petrified to actually OPEN any of these recipes. I know I am signing my addiction center application form.

But we can still look! See? We have Pistachio Bark.  

 

p bark

 

We have Pistachio Biscotti

p biscotti

 

Pistachio Cheesecake

p cake

 

Pistachio Cupcakes

 

 

p cupcakes

 

Pistachio Fudge

 

 

 

 

p fudge

 

Pistachio Icecream

p ice

 

Pistachio Macaroons

p macaroons

 

I love Pistachios Dude. 

p shells