I don’t know why, but I’ve never allowed myself to dream very big. My subconscious’s favorite thing to say is “That Dream is Too Big For You.” I really bully myself actually. Stopping myself from dreaming too big prevents the disappointment. But I’m learning that – that’s just no way to live. You will miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right? I don’t remember who said that, but I know it was written in the mural on the wall of my high school. It’s funny what you retain, and what you don’t.
I actually have planned a magical future for myself – entirely excluding some of those too big dreams. I still have hopes for after – the perfect career, the perfect house, the perfect man. It’s all right on track. But I have no space for the too big dreams.
If I wasn’t afraid – I would be an expat. An excellent expat. I read blogs by expats living less than luxurious, challenging, confusing, wild lives abroad and to me, that sounds so perfect. Maybe not forever – because there’s still the matter of the job and house and man to settle down with. But living – actually living – in another country is one of those things I swear I’ll never be able to do. People like me don’t get to do things like that.
I would change everything, my entire future plan, to accommodate this Too Big Dream if there was the slightest chance it would work. That is, if my right hand man would follow me, I would have a work opportunity, and we can afford it. So I’m calling all my expat friends, my travelers, and my wanderlusters. How do you do it. How can I do it. How did you get there. Give me a reason why it’s not impossible and out of the question.