Today, I’m tag teaming with a fellow writer, and close friend Jordan Eschman. We’ve been side by side collaborating 7th grade Newspaper Club and ever since, we’ve been growing and supporting each other in just about everything.
Once again, her wisdom knocked me on my butt. Last week she was sharing her relationship advice with the world of Facebook. Both Jordan and I are working on 2 year long relationships with wonderful guys. (Surprise, I have a boyfriend. Did anyone even know that?) We used to gush in Speech and Debate class over how to-die-for our early dates would go. Now, two happy years later, we get asked how we did it – a lot. How we survived dating in high school and how our relationships thrived. Here’s what Jordan said and I can’t agree more.
“I feel like a lot of girls in high school wonder what do to for a successful relationship. One piece of advice that has stuck with me for a while is to never say anything negative about your significant other to other people. And that sounds really stupid, because of course you’re going to want to complain about him or her when you have a fight. But try not to. People aren’t in your relationship. They will remember the negative things, but they won’t see all the positive little things like you do. Don’t post your complaints online, or tell every friend you know about your latest drama. I used to do it too, but I really makes a giant difference if you don’t. Your relationship is for you and the other person, not you, the other person, and 300 of your “friends.” Keep your relationship between you and him, and if you have to say something, make sure you’re bragging about all the wonderful things he does for you.”
Jordan also added, “Actually, we broke up for 2ish months last year. Because part of the reason we broke up had to do with fights being blown out of proportion and people giving us bad input and stuff… This time around we keep our problems between the two of us, and we have better strategies for dealing with them. It’s made the entire relationship mesh so much better.”
Cheers Jordan! I’m no expert, but I think she really hit it home. And Jordan and I aren’t the first people to feel this way. I have a bad habit of asking older couples how they’ve lasted. Many couples have said the same things. Don’t bash him. Don’t bash her. Don’t broadcast your troubles. Address them. No one else in this world can fix your troubles. Granted – we all need to take our own advice some days and sometimes you just need a friend to pour your heart out to. But remember who you are speaking about, what you really want to gain, and what you really feel outside the heat of the moment.
Wishing you lots of love, Phoebe and Jordy.