Hello. My name is Ellie Mae and I am a very bad dog. My loving dog sitter Phoebe was home just two hours ago to play. She fed me, let me go potty, and loved on me. I had so much fun. I had so much fun, I didn’t want her to leave. But she did.
That Bitch. I can’t believe that. She left to go to dinner at her own home. How dare she. So I thought to myself, I will make her pay. So I thrashed around in my crate until the bars broke open. Then I proceeded to poop in 5 places around the house. I also ate her coupon book out of her bag, tore open the garbage, and broke into the cat’s room to eat her food. It was the longest most miserable two hours of my life.
I will probably do it again tonight after she sleeps. She will put me in my crate again. I shall now begin the plotting.
It’s going to be a long long week.
(Jonesie, if you’re reading this. Don’t rush home too soon, but definitely don’t get lost on your way back. Be Safe. I’ll hold down the fort.)