How Your Kid Might Feel About Interracial Dating


Interracial Dating

I could go on and on about this subject. Maybe that is because I am the product of an interracial couple. Maybe it is because I was raised in a house that made love and tolerance a priority. Maybe it is because my boyfriend is white and I am not.

I have been mixed my entire life. That posed many challenges in its self especially when it came to self identity, confidence, bullying, family… you know. The works. One of the key struggles was boys. This all became an issue in 4th and 5th grade when we were loosing our cooties and gaining our girlish figure.

See, when you can’t identify what you are, what does that mean as far as how others identify you? Once boys quit having cooties, I was posed with a lot deeper questions than, will he walk me to class? I was thinking along the lines of, well does Joey think of me as white? He is white. If he thinks of me as white, then maybe there’s a better chance of him liking me. Maybe. But what if he thinks of me as black. He doesn’t ever talk to the other black girls

Well, maybe he could still like me. But then what if his friends make fun of him?

What if he does  like black girls? But then, if he doesn’t think of me as a black girl.

I’m sure you can imagine how confusing it must be. Hormones, Identity issues, All my friends were dating but I was too afraid to approach any guy because… well, what does he like? This race or that? Then of course, I went through the phase of… This guy seems to like me, but I know he likes the thuggy-acting Black girls. Well maybe if I act thuggy like them…. He will consider me an option!

It was never about if they were racist. I just assumed that when it came to developing crushes, everyone usually started in their own race. That’s where the dating radar begins. Is that wild for an elementary schooler to think? It’s scary enough to put yourself out there, fresh bosoms and cootie free… we had no idea what we were doing. I guess I was just so afraid of rejection because I thought being mixed took me out of everyone’s radar.  There is so much fear in new dating already. Why complicate things? It’s safer to stay within you race, right?

Wrong. It took some time, and I’m talking most of grade school, but I finally began to learn my place. My first love was a white guy. I threw caution to the wind and went for it. Fortunately, the whole exotic-tall-bronze-and-sexy thing worked for me. Spending time with someone that accepted me for me – that is when I learned the most about myself.

Plus, I enjoy knowing that we tick off the majority of southern conservative Republicans. Did you know there are still human beings who would make interracial marriage Illegal. Illegal. Punishable by law. But that is a story for another day so stick around.









8 thoughts on “How Your Kid Might Feel About Interracial Dating

  1. Thanks for sharing this! I always thought being an interracial kid is cool because you can have the best of both worlds. I never realized that you also go trough something like that. I also just want to say that you’re so pretty!

    • Ah thank you so much! And also, thank you for that killer shout out on your happy list ! I love that whole idea, plus it means the world to me that you shared your readers with me 🙂 I will have to do some sort of switcheroo soon so I can share mine with you!!

  2. Pingback: This Week’s Happy List: Just Lovely | Wax's World

  3. Thank you for writing and sharing this, Phoebe! That’s so crazy that interracial marriages are illegal in some places, and frowned upon in more places than we know. You are seriously so beautiful and such a nice person, it’s a shame if anyone ever prejudices against you because of your ethnicity.

    I can feel your pain about being an open-minded, non-prejudiced person living in a Red, Southern state. Luckily, (knock on wood) I haven’t had much prejudice towards me and my husband (he’s White) and I was suuuper lucky that his family are amazing and open-minded, loving people as well ❤

    I once dated a guy whose mother was shocked to see a picture of me for the first time. He told me that she didn't know I was Asian…and that she didn't know that I was REALLY Asian…whatever that meant! Needless to say, that relationship didn't work out, and I'm glad it didn't because I wouldn't want her as a mother in-law!!

    Anywho, love this post and love your view on this!! ❤

    • Did you know that in Mississippi a few years back, 40% of the Republicans voted that they would make it actually illegal for you and the Ronster, or Me and Mr.S to be together! Punishable by law! It’s amazing how much has changed in just 50 years. Unfortunately law may change but minds aren’t that easy. I’m glad we have such wonderful men with accepting loving families! & you can expect more on this subject!

      • Oh my goodness, I’m sorry I didn’t see this until now. Wow, that’s so crazy. People act like racism still doesn’t exist these days, that people of color are overreacting and such, but there’s a reason why! Racism is still alive and well, especially in the South. I’m happy to hear your views on this as it is something people should be aware of. =) ❤ Love you, Phoebe!!

  4. Enjoyed the post, and I can empathize with what you went through. I have a question, did you ever come to a definitive conclusions as to the differences in the cultures or did it seem that people were just people after all?

    • People definitely people! If anything, all the defining conclusions (or expectations) (stereotypes) got completely taken down. Being with someone outside my race has thought me that when you think open-minded, the people around you will too… most of the time (:

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