Way To Ruin My Shopping Spree, B*tch.


I want to apologize for my language, but I probably won’t. Just as I wouldn’t have apologized if I had slapped her across her fake blonde wanna-be-sorority face. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.

Except without the sweet part. What?! She doesn’t deserve it! Here we go.

So, let’s call it the Best Shop Ever. My favorite shop in all history, The Best Shop Ever, just opened its 2nd shop in Tennessee just a few miles away. I pretty much died when I found out. Thus began my countdown to the opening day. Finally, today I picked up my wonderful friend and we embarked on what was to be the best day of our lives.

No, I’m not exaggerating a lick.

So, we get there right? And we walk up to the entrance. And it’s beautiful. It is simply glowing. And we walk through the threshold.

And there she is. That nasty girl from my math class last year. I have known a lot of mean awful girls. But for some reason, this complete stranger who so happened to be in my community college math class decided she wanted to destroy me. Ask anyone in my class, the tension was ridiculous. I even remember texting my mom asking her if she would be proud or disappointed if I slapped her face off.


I mean, who follows up a perfectly reasonable question with “Excuse me, I don’t think anyone else is confused right now. It’s not that hard. We shouldn’t be wasting our time like this, don’t you think Mrs.Teacher?”

Oh. Plus, don’t call me and my friends cheaters for getting better grades when you are playing on Pinterest ALL CLASS. Please, complain about your grades. Please.  But also, feel free to talk to me like a dog when you think you can “teach” me how to understand the confusing problems. I didn’t ask for your help.



But don’t forget to insult my friends! Ugh, I was so relieved to get her out of my life.

I think you get the idea. And I think you can only imagine my thrill walking into the Best Store Ever and seeing Blondie right inside the door. How does such a hateful person get such a nice job? I was basically devastated.

Thank goodness I looked Hot. Thank goodness the other shop is within an hour drive.
Do I feel like I’ve let her win? Like I have let her control me?

Not one bit. Because if anything, I am saving her life.


6 thoughts on “Way To Ruin My Shopping Spree, B*tch.

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