I Won’t Be Civil: A Letter To My Girls


My dearest friend,

I’m not going to make this flowery. I’m going to make this blunt.

 I won’t be civil. I can’t do it, babe.

When your ex-boyfriend contacts me asking to relay to you a message. No. I’m sorry. I won’t be civil. When he approaches me and I remember the way he treated you – Nope. The abuse and the manipulation, and the control. No way. I won’t be civil.

I commend you for your commitment to being the bigger person. I’m proud of you for acting with class and civility in adversity. I respect your stance on your relationship. I completely understand whatever fear you may have lingering. There’s no doubt some leftover hurt you must deal with.

But we can’t both be afraid.

I might make him mad?

My dear, I won’t impose. I won’t stick my nose in your business. I won’t involve myself. But please understand. I don’t care if I make him mad. That’s on me. No man will use our friendship as a pawn. No one will use our relationship to hurt you. You see, you are worth more than you can fathom. You are an independant woman who can define her own relationships – all I can do is hope that you don’t undermine yourself.

Just know this. If he asks me, You’re worth more than gold.

And I’m not afraid to tell him that.

Remember, It’s ok to be a little afraid to upset him. You can be afraid he will get mad. Just remember, an angry best friend is much, much more frightening.


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